Tain't No Sin

I'm not crazy, just frustrated.

So things have been kinda nuts lately. Let me start at the beginning... A few weeks ago, Sarah and I got to talking. It wasn't working out living in Rockford. We were both pretty unhappy, and she was really home sick. So we got to talking about moving back to Oshkosh, and both realized we had each been thinking about it a lot too. So after a lot of discussion, we decided we were going to. I knew it was going to be hard to tell my parents, but I knew I had to tell them soon. The plan was to stay through the holidays and then move back to Oshkosh in the beginning of January. Well, I talked to my dad, and he was sad, but he said he understood... So I decided to wait for a good time to talk to my mom. I ended up talking to her last Wednesday, at what I thought was a good time. I explained it to her, told her it had nothing to do with her or anything like that. She was kinda shocked, and really upset. Well, as the night went on, she drank more and more and got really angry and hurt. She ended up coming into Sarah and I's room at like 11:30 at night and told us to find out how soon we could move back and to be out by the end of the week. She also said a lot of hurtful things. It was extremely upsetting, as you can imagine, and after she left the room, Sarah and I just cried for a while. We were both sick to our stomachs, and realized that things wouldn't be good for the next month if we did stay, knowing that the next morning my mom would apologize. So we decided as painful as it would be that we had to move the next day. Most of you probably know a lot of the issues that I've had at home through high-school, and this was kinda just the nail in the coffin. I still love my mom and dad very much, but it wasn't healthy for Sarah and I to be in that position. So anyways, we've moved back to Oshkosh. She got her old job back and I'm back to looking, and we're hopefully moving into our own apartment in January. Things with my mom still aren't great. Some more hurtful things were said since then (to me) and she has apologized a couple of times, but there's still a lot to get through. So I'm trying to make it work. Like I said, I still love her very much, I just can't continue to be hurt. I hope that everything gets resolved soon and we can move on. I'd appreciate it if there wasn't a lot of talking about the whole thing both to me and to others. I don't want it to get back to her, and I don't know how much more I can talk about it for now. Please, if you pray, say a prayer for my mom that she finds peace, and for me that I find the strength to know I did the right thing.

posted by Paul @ 11:10 AM